Bad skin days and social isolation
For me, that looks like canceling plans.
There were stretches in high school when I didn’t want to show my face on campus for days on end. Every once in a while, I would break out into some type of anxiety rash, and the idea of being perceived by anyone outside my immediate household filled me with dread.
That mentality carried into my adult life. If I’m having a particularly bad skin day/week/month, I tend to socially isolate. I don’t want to be seen, even by my favorite people who could care less what I look like.
So I was stoked to see that SELF recently covered how acne can cause very real mental health effects.
I know we’re living in the age of Starface and increasing acceptance of imperfections (I even saw someone recently describe their no make-up Reel as “raw face”), but a sleeve of cute blemish stickers doesn’t solve for the psychological toll persistent acne and other skin conditions can cause to someone’s self-esteem.
For me, that looks like canceling plans. I’ve since matured (?) or therapized my way through anxiety rashes and found a skincare routine that works for my sensitive skin. But the absolute best thing I did for myself was throw away my magnifier mirror. The closest I get to examining my skin is a run-of-the-mill wall mirror that is a good few feet away, thanks to the bathroom sink.
What works for me might not work for everyone, but I can say with absolute certainty that there was no need for me to zone in on my skin so thoroughly. The only person who needs to see my skin with super vision is my dermatologist during my annual skin exam.
And it wasn’t just about how close I could get to every perceived imperfection. That little magnifier mirror on the bathroom counter was like an invitation to scrutinize my face. Went in to pee, stayed for the self-deprecation spiral.
I still love brands like Starface that are trying to normalize and publicize and kinda romanticize? blemishes, but I also think it’s important to acknowledge that radical beauty acceptance can take more work than scrolling through pics of celebrities and other hot people with yellow stars on their face. And that it’s not superficial to feel insecure about a skin condition, but you do deserve to be at peace with yourself, however that journey looks for you. (Whether it’s therapy, incinerating the magnifier mirror, voicing your vulnerabilities out loud to friends and family, etc.)
If I could go back and talk to my 16-year-old self, I would probably just validate what she was feeling. And give her a therapist recommendation. And throw away the St. Ives apricot scrub.
“Aging like milk”: Apparently Gen Z is worried that they’re aging more rapidly than others, citing things like *gestures* society, makeup and cosmetic procedures, vaping, stress. What’s more likely, as psychology professor Renee Engeln said, is that “there is a sense in which young people have forgotten what faces look like.” I interpreted that as the consequences of the constant consumption of faces altered by filters, fillers, injectables, contouring, etc. etc. from an increasingly young age. When you look in the mirror and start to see your face changing, as is likely to happen as you cross the bridge from 20s to 30s, you might panic if everyone around you is in a permanent stasis of looking 25. It’s not necessarily that Gen Z is aging faster, it’s that, through aesthetic interventions perpetuating the digital spaces they spend most of their time in, they’re not witnessing aging at all.
So I texted the article to Un/well’s resident Gen Z correspondent (aka my cousin, who when I asked how old she is said “turning 26 in April, Aries rising and sun Gemini Moon) to get her thoughts, transcribed from an audio message below:
“OMG I’m embarrassed that my generation is saying it’s because of social media like girl just get off your phone. I think if you were going to go down the route of influencers I feel like even just like 10 or 15 years ago, there was more of a stigma around people getting botox or fillers or whatever to make your face look more youthful. But now people are making it look more natural, people like musicians, actors, whatever. They have not only more fun getting natural-looking botox but they have all of those filters that we already know are on magazines. Honestly I could go on for a minute and a half because I used to be like, dude I look so old. It’s so dramatic. It’s just because it’s really hard for Gen Zers to have their bubbles burst that people look different online than they do in person, it’s hard for us to grasp that for some reason.”
Measles is back: A preventable, highly contagious disease, and there are cases showing up in places like Philadelphia, Delaware, New Jersey, and Virginia. If you’re like how? why??? noooo… wondering how a disease with a vaccine that’s been around and safe and effective for decades is having its moment in the sun again, you can blame vaccine hesitancy and misinformation. I highly recommend subscribing to epidemiologist Dr. Katelyn Jetelina’s newsletter, where she’s covered this slow and steady rise, along with other public health news in a way that’s approachable and (most importantly) science-backed.
The hot new wellness supplement? Milk from cows a few days after giving birth: Or “bovine colostrum.” I recently learned about human colostrum when a friend of mine sent a pic of golden milk she’d pumped shortly after childbirth. It’s also referred to as liquid gold because of the color and also its powerful nutrient and immunity qualities. Of course some wellness founder somewhere learned about this very good breast milk reserved for babies and wanted to bring it to the adult masses. The answer has been taking it from cows and serving it up in pricey powder and pills. The science is very much still out on how effective bovine colostrum is in delivering on the stated health claims of these brands (promote gut health! support immune function! support athletic performance!). There’s also the concern of taking away this liquid gold from newborn calves. I find it all very depressing.
An empty house doesn’t have to be lonely: I loved this newsletter issue from journalist Poorna Bell on how peaceful a home to yourself can be, specifically pointing out older women who have opted to live alone rather than introduce a partner to their space. When I clicked on the link, I expected to see a gallery of images of the restful houses of women. Instead, I stayed for the commentary on how women in her life are defying stereotypes of the lonely old cat ladies living by themselves. Living alone can be a tranquil treasure, and it doesn’t have to be viewed through the lens of a last resort. It can be a first choice. (That being said, give me an Architectural Digest spread on the zen spaces of older women choosing to live alone.)
January Empties 💞
Or all the healthy & healthy-ish things I’ve been using to the last metaphorical drop or want to try
🦋 These ribbed boxer briefs look so comfy
🦋 I’m beyond stoked to add Baude’s newly launched body wash Darkwave Utopia to my shower routine. The bodycare brand is about centering pleasure and bodies as is, rather than trying to target a certain perceived flaw or turn the shower experience into something that should be powered through
🦋 I’ve been really enjoying these meaty little meat bars
🦋 A person in my Pilates class this week was wearing these striped tube grip socks which look really nice for when my gas light is on (right now) and I have to walk to class and it’s kinda chilly out
🦋 A friend and I have discussed doing a cold plunge in the ocean soon and I’m feeling this surf vest with matching shorts to keep me a lil warmer without going full wetsuit
🦋 Caved and got that viral hand cream treatment and can confirm it’s so lovely and the container is art (more magnetic tops!!)
🦋 I really need to invest in an ergonomic pillow for when I’m reading in bed, because propping up my two sleep pillows is not cutting it. I’ve had my eye on this one for a year ?? now but it’s so hard to rationalize spending this much on a pillow I don’t sleep on. If anyone has a rec (or has tried this pillow) please inform
Thank you for reading this issue of Un/well. This is a reader-supported newsletter and I appreciate you.
Melanie
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Header and illustrations by Olivia Fu